Double Standard.
Yours Truly
Yours Truly
28/11/11
The end is approaching, and new adventures are transpiring. I can feel my anxiety and apprehension grow as each day nears December. I am waiting for documents from France, which I will need to apply for a Visa to work as an Au Pair in Paris from Jan. 2012 - Jan. 2013. There is a bit of a time crunch but I'm praying that within the next couple days those documents will be signed, stamped, and in my hands. All I can do is hurry up and wait, I guess it's in Gods hands now! I JUST WANT TO GO TO PARIS AND LIVE! As Guru (R.I.P) says "Good things come to those who wait, I found that bad things come to those who hate." As I've mentioned previously Kelowna is beautiful but it's like I've been eating the same meal for the last 18 years. I feel like I'm in a jail cell, unable to move forward. I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE! And I'm so close, yet I ain't going anywhere without that visa. My friend, and some family is in Milano and I can't wait to venture down to that beautiful city and enjoy the company of my lovely friend Dylane and my charming family. Experience, experience, experience.
Bus Drivers. I tell ya, you never know what your gonna get when that bus comes around the corner. I was sitting at the Orchard Park Mall bus depot (one of the main bus stations in Kelowna) at 7:30am to catch the bus up to Glenmore. I see the bus coming and I realize I haven't got my fair ready. I take hast and try to grab my wallet get the $2 fare, zip up my bag, grab my mitts, grab my coffee and catch the bus. But as I'm turning around with all these things in hand, the bus is getting farther and farther away from me. There were only 2 other bus patrons at this bus stop. It's pretty funny, and luckily I had enough time for a back up plan but honestly? I know maybe you(bus driver) didn't plan on becoming a bus driver but you have customers. They have things to do, places to go and people to see. Just because your life sucks doesn't mean we should all have to pay for it. It is Karma for me though, I did deserve it. After all the times I've been on the bus and watched the bus pass stops with people waiting at them. But it was definitely better then the time I was 15, waiting and wishing for an hour in the night rain hoping that bus would rescue me. Oh well, makes life interesting!
Marriage, even having a boyfriend has never been a big deal to me. I'm not the kind of girl who prays each night that she will meet her prince charming and be wed in a dream like affair. To be honest I've never really cared. It all seems riff-raff to me. I felt like this even before my parents divorced. Over the past couple years I've just steered away from the mystery of love because I find it just brings trouble, especially at the adolescent age where our emotions speed out of control, and one minute were in ecstacy and the next hell. Most people over the age of 28 usually ask if I have a boyfriend. My answer's always the same, "No, I think they are a waste of time at my age. I think it's important for me to discover myself and the world before I make any serious commitments. I'm young and I'm going to enjoy the luxury of freedom, but when I do decide to get married I want it to be my first and last time. I am still pretty firm in this belief, but what shook my concrete wall was the father of the children I Nanny. He said that "Even so, there always seems to be that attraction to be with someone." And he's right. Instead of fighting that emotion it's important to embrace it. What's so bad with sharing your life with someone who loves you as much as you love them? My bottom line is: Love because you want to love, not because you need to love. So many girls out there don't fall in love, they fall into a trap. And I believe that to attract true love, one must become independant. Experience life on THEIR own terms. And with this experience one will realize that their value, and happiness is not dictated nor determined by another person. They will be more discerning about what kind of love they want to attract in their life, and if its not working, saying good-bye and starting over isn't so awful. There is no rush, wait to fall in love. But who knows, I'm only 18 and I may not even know the half of it!
Today in the life of a Nanny was an ascension. I finally have fallen in love with children. All and everything that parents, and grandparents confess about the joy children bring was displayed so clearly to me today. Their smiles; angelic, their laughter; contagious, their playfulness; adorable. Not only did I experience the beauty of children but I also realized that as Nanny or even a parent, not only are you a teacher, but your also a student.
VISUALS
Soon We'll Be Found
Sia
Sia
My Love
Sia
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